


Fairytales and Monsters

by idrilhadhafang



Series: TFA Tidbits [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Armitage Hux Being An Asshole, Evil Snoke, Gen, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, POV Kylo Ren, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Relationship(s), Torture, goes up to Poe's escape, kinda sorta a movie novelization?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 15:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The mission to Jakku, from Kylo Ren's point of view.





	Fairytales and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It's in Kylo Ren's chambers that the Supreme Leader contacts him, and talks about the mission that he's going to go on. 

"Lor San Tekka has found the map to Skywalker," the Supreme Leader rumbles. "He must not get it to the Resistance. If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise."

"I will stop him, Supreme Leader."

"There is something more," says the Supreme Leader. "There is another man on Tuanul that you will have to face. Your mate, Poe Dameron."

And under the mask, Kylo Ren's breath hitches. His husband, here?

 _Well, of course,_  he thinks. _You would have to face him eventually. Did you think that you would never have to go against him?_

 

He knows that the Supreme Leader can't sense his emotions over their holographic transmission, but nonetheless, he tries to overcompensate, he tries to cover it up. "Supreme Leader, I assure you, I feel nothing for this man. I am only loyal to you."

"And yet you waver." The Supreme Leader surveys him with eyes that dissect and pierce. "The pilot...long ago, you would have crawled on your hands and knees if it meant that you would have his approval, wouldn't you?"

Ashamed, Kylo Ren says, "But not anymore."

"You hesitate. I feel your grief too keenly, Kylo Ren -- the bond between two _ava_ is far from easily broken. But your duty is to find the last piece of the map before the Resistance does. If they find Skywalker, they will reduce the galaxy to chaos without end. They will resurrect corruption and decadence in the galaxy, and all we fought to preserve will be destroyed. It is nothing that should be taken lightly." The Supreme Leader pauses. "The First Order comes before your personal feelings. Remember that."

"I know."

"Find the map. Use whatever means necessary to find it. Know that the villagers are dangerous; they will likely be armed and ready to kill. They will not hesitate to try and kill you. Do not show them mercy, for you will be shown none." Snoke pauses. "If necessary, kill Tekka and the pilot. Do not let them sway you, for they will try."

"I am immune to the Light, Supreme Leader."

"We shall see," Snoke says. "We shall see."

The hologram fades, leaving Kylo Ren alone in his chambers. 

Poe...Poe Dameron is on Jakku. Tekka as well; Kylo Ren can remember him vaguely from his childhood. Uncle Tekkie, his younger self called him --

No. The less Kylo Ren has to think about Ben Solo, the better. No use thinking about a dead man who deserves to be dead. 

And Poe...

Ben Solo promised -- yes, he promised Poe that he would always be the love of his life. And he did not promise it idly. 

 _He means nothing to me._  

A soft breeze could dismantle that thought too easily. Because Kylo Ren can remember. Fantasies that intruded in his thoughts whenever he heard about what Poe was doing, where he was...

\-- _standing looking over the bridge of the Finalizer at all they owned --_

_\-- Poe, reaching up to touch his mask, placing a kiss to the snout of it --_

_\-- flying together, in a space battle side by side --_

_\-- their heirs, which they would have likely adopted, raising them well --_

Things that he can never have. He knows that much. He could never love an enemy of the First Order. He could never love at all. Love is weakness; the Supreme Leader has told Kylo Ren that much. And yet he aches, he covets, he needs...

All Dark Siders are supposed to covet is power, and yet Kylo needs...

He keeps it all to himself, of course. He orders his shuttle readied; Phasma is already readying the troops without a doubt. This is usually when he goes on group missions; space battles he uses his TIE. 

It's in the shuttle that he meditates, trying to draw on his worst memories, the anger and bitterness he feels that's without a doubt a part of him, but images of Poe intrude. Poe's laugh, and how he glows like the sun when he laughs. Leaving Poe behind on Yavin IV, and his fantasies -- horrible fantasies -- of coming back for Poe and them being together. 

The fantasies. Kylo can't erase them or suppress them, even though he yearns to do so. It must be like the rest of the Light -- he can't get its taint off him, he can't get clean...

Did Grandfather ever have these feelings after his own wife died? Like he could never get clean...but then again, he always was clean. Pure, perfect, cold -- a machine honed to mastery. He certainly never had these fantasies about Grandmother, about her joining him, he certainly was never all but chained with grief...

Not for the first time, he fears that he will never be as strong as -- stronger is nigh impossible -- the late and great Darth Vader. 

The shuttle drops out of hyperspace at Jakku, and coasts in to Tuanul, where the village is already in chaos. Kylo disembarks, hands clenched at his side, and heads towards Lor San Tekka, who's currently being restrained by two stormtroopers. They grip him by the forearms, only to release him when Kylo Ren approaches. 

They must know that this is between him and Tekka alone. 

He looks at Tekka, takes in the paler hair, the bloodshot eyes, the sunken cheeks. He looks like he's fallen on harder times than Kylo remembers him from his childhood. Ben Solo would have felt sorry for him. Kylo Ren cannot. 

Kylo Ren takes him in and speaks. "Look how old you've become."

"Something far worse has happened to you," Tekka says, and Kylo feels a spike of anger. Still, he keeps calm. 

"You know what I've come for." he says. It can be so simple. Hand over the map. No interrogation necessary. 

"I know where you come from," says Tekka. "Before you called yourself Kylo Ren."

"The map to Skywalker. We know you've found it." Kylo begins to pace. "And now you're going to give it to the First Order."

"The First Order rose from the Dark Side," Tekka says. "You did not."

Tekka cannot be seriously still gnawing at that bone, can he? "I'll show you," Kylo says as he advances on Tekka, and he swears that the heat behind his eyes is building, "The Dark Side."

"You may try," Tekka says, and the worst part is that there is sincerity in his eyes, earnestness, a sort of belief that makes the anger build more. "But you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"You're so right," Kylo says wryly, and ignites his lightsaber. He slices through Tekka and the old man falls to the ground. The crowd gasps, and a blaster bolt comes flying at Kylo. Kylo turns around, freezes both it and the man shooting. 

It's Poe. 

The stormtroopers haul him towards Kylo, and this is the first time that Kylo has seen him in years. Years since he left him on Yavin IV, years since Skywalker forcibly separated them both. Even looking at that beautiful, defiant face, Kylo feels a sort of jealous fury. Poe could have been his, his alone, if not for --

 _No_. 

The stormtroopers push Poe to his knees, and Poe grunts. He falls before Kylo, and Kylo looks down at him, kneeling, stunned, before assembling his face into a look of defiance. 

Kylo drops down to his level to look at him. Even after all these years, he's still beautiful. His eyes, brown and expressive, his hair, curly and dark and thick. They regard each other in silence for a long while. 

Finally, Poe says, "So who talks first? You talk first, I talk first?"

"The old man gave it to you," Kylo says, wonderingly.

"It's just hard to understand you with the -- "

"Search him."

"Apparatus," Poe finishes. Even as the stormtroopers haul Poe to his feet to pat him down, there's something in his face that suggests defiance -- a heated sort of defiance. 

After a while, one of the stormtroopers speaks. "Nothing, sir."

"Put him onboard," Kylo says, and the stormtroopers do so. 

Phasma marches over towards him. "Sir," she says. "The villagers."

Kylo remembers too well what the Supreme Leader said, about them being armed, about them being dangerous. "Kill them all," he says, and Phasma relays the order to her men. 

He swears that he hears Poe pleading with him ("No. No!") all the while even as the massacre goes on, but pleas aren't going to move Kylo Ren to mercy. It's passing on the way back to the shuttle that he notices one stormtrooper with a bloody handprint on their helmet and a blaster at his side. He can already sense the stormtrooper's fear, the knowledge that he's done something against the way the First Order works, the way the stormtroopers work. 

Their gazes linger before Kylo Ren turns back to his shuttle. It doesn't matter. They have more urgent matters at hand. 

When the interrogation begins, he's out of the room for it. He can hear it, though, the beatings, the repeated demands as to where Ben is, things of that nature. And he feels like he's been punched in the chest. Poe was looking for him, all this time? To save him? 

But there is no saving him. Monsters from campfire stories and fairy tales don't get redemption. Kylo Ren knows this. Poe has to be a fool to think that he can save him. 

Finally, in disgust, Hux turns to look at him. "Well," he says. "It seems you're the only one who can get the information out of him. You may be our best choice, Ren."

It's that or lose the map to Skywalker. And yet...he doubts he can do either. Torture his husband, or lose the map. 

He may have no other choice. 

He tries to stay stoic, of course, pretend that he doesn't know Poe Dameron. That for all intents and purposes, they're strangers. Poe seems to genuinely think they're strangers even as he looks up at Kylo, beautiful and defiant. The way he talks, the way he looks -- he must genuinely think they're strangers. 

It's the moment that Poe says, "You might want to rethink your technique" that Kylo begins his interrogation. He doesn't want to; the interrogations give him no pleasure. On the outside, it seems like a usual interrogation between prisoner and captor, at least up until Poe starts pleading with him.

But you can't save the monster from campfire stories. Kylo Ren knows this. It's at the end that he knocks Poe unconscious before reporting back to General Hux. 

"It's in a droid," he says. "A BB-unit."

"Well then," Hux says, "If it's on Jakku we'll soon have it."

"I leave that to you," Kylo says, and leaves. 

It's in his chambers that he manages to recover himself and take in the full weight of what he's done. Torturing has just become so easy now; he just never expected to have his own husband up on the rack. And Poe still tried to save him...does he not realize that there is no salvation for beings like him?

He'll have to come back. If there's a way to have Poe Dameron --

Can he have him? Will Poe still want him after what he's done? Kylo Ren has tortured before, but this...he can feel the unpleasantness of the experience settle into his bones. 

No salvation. No forgiveness. He is the monster from fairy tales that the heroes kill while they live happily ever after. The wicked witch, the dragon, the ogre. He is Kylo Ren. He has done a terrible thing, and there is no turning back for him. 

The love of his life, and his mind was broken in one stroke. 

How does anyone come back from that?

He looks at his grandfather's half-melted mask, and he speaks to it. 

"Grandfather," he says, "I need your assistance..."

 

 


End file.
